Managing time between multiple partners can be challenging, especially when juggling everyday responsibilities, family life, and long-distance relationships. I live with my primary partner, my fiancée, along with our children, and I also have a long-distance girlfriend who spends most of the year across the country. Here’s how I balance my time and maintain healthy relationships with both.
My Primary Relationship: Prioritizing Time with My Fiancée
In my primary relationship, my fiancée and I share the responsibilities of daily life—raising kids, handling household tasks, managing finances, and staying on top of our careers. With such a packed schedule, it’s easy to lose sight of quality time together. If we’re not intentional, we might only spend time together while collapsing into bed at the end of a long day.
To avoid this, we actively plan regular date nights to keep our connection strong. Just like we put in the effort to create memorable experiences with other partners, we make sure to do the same for each other. Depending on our schedules, we aim for 1-3 date nights a week. These dates might be something simple like watching a movie or soaking in the hot tub—anything that allows us to focus on each other and not just the responsibilities we share.
Long-Distance Relationship with My Girlfriend
When I first started dating my girlfriend, we lived just 20 minutes apart. Going on casual dates like dinners or park outings was easy. However, six months into our relationship, she moved across the country for school, which introduced a new dynamic—managing a long-distance relationship.
To maintain our connection, we created a routine called “Tuesdate,” a virtual date night every Tuesday via video chat. Whether we’re catching up on the week, watching a movie together, or playing games, this weekly commitment has been a game-changer. Even when she’s home for the summer, we continue our Tuesdates in person.
In addition to virtual dates, I also budget time and money to fly out and see her once a month. This in-person connection is important for maintaining the closeness we had when we lived near each other. Traveling to see her allows us to experience things together in real life and keep the relationship strong. However, I understand that this option may not be feasible for everyone in a long-distance relationship, as frequent travel can become expensive. For us, though, it’s a priority that we’ve built into our relationship dynamic.
In addition to Tuesdates, we also check in with each other whenever we have free time. This could be a quick call after work or during a long drive. These spontaneous conversations have been crucial for staying connected. I often find time for these chats while my fiancée is still at work or taking care of the kids, so it doesn’t interfere with our family time.
Final Thoughts: Managing Time with Multiple Partners
Time management is essential in polyamorous relationships. Ensuring that each partner feels valued and receives the attention they deserve takes effort and planning. For me, it’s all about balancing priorities and creating meaningful moments with both my fiancée and my girlfriend.
